Intro Carrd 2.0!!! If you’d rather read it on here or want some bonus extra information then just click ‘read more’ :D
will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake
so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type
Man ordering food: I work in the restaurant business ;)
Children working at restaurant: this guy must really like cherries. Got something in your eye there sir
the only bad part about going to the zoo is hearing adult men confidently tell their kids or gfs objectively incorrect information about the animals we’re looking at and having to remain silent. do u know the restraint it takes to say nothing when a grown adult man tells someone “falcons are in the same family as eagles” next to me? no babygirl. no.
fyi falcons are not closely related to other birds of prey (hawks/eagles/buzzards). falcons are actually parrots that minmaxed for a glass cannon dps build.
assault parrots, if you will
tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute
who did you have to kill to get that URL
this is the perfect post. an already fantastic opening line. but while youre distracted by that, the next guy fucking smacks you in the face with cock
reblog to smack someone in the face with cock
happy do you like men monday
FROM: Just Roll What If | Otherworldly Summoning
Chip: Are you gonna tur— Do you have magic? You gonna turn me into a square?
NPC: I could turn you into a square.
Chip: (sputters) Stay out of this, Gandalf!
Dakota: I don't know. Do you like men?
[pause]
Chip: What?
If you work a tipped job literally make up a silly name for yourself and people will think you’re so much more charismatic and personable for the exact same service. People are soo much nicer and tip me better when I say my names Melon. They fucking love it all I gotta say is yup that’s my real name. my parents are huge hippies. I know fucking insane right. Fucking stupid. With a straight face and especially the old people they have to fan themselves they get so excited
If you deal with a ton of unbearable older white men and/or normal dog owners, call yourself Maverick
With older white men, you will hijack their brains into Toxic Masculine Nostalgia, typically about either Top Gun or some old cowboy show, and they will adore you from the childhood boyish part of themselves that want desperately to be named Maverick as well.
With dog owners, you have a 1/20th chance to have the same same as their dog.
Stolen from Reddit.
Chocolate chip but chocolate chip cookie dough is my favourite. I also had this banana fudge ice cream once that was really good.
What the fuck is this??????????
And honestly if you can't even write the word rape to protect other people then you probably aren't old/mature enough to be on this website.
